Sixteen Months with Henry!

As this boy gets more active, I have less time to write about him. Life with a very mobile toddler is nothing short of exhausting! All day long, when I'm off that is, I follow him around from room to room, reading book after book, asking Henry to name items, taking away things that he might eat or break or otherwise damage, hugging, redirecting, soothing, nursing, tickling, laughing and learning patience. Henry is absolutely hilarious. Words are pouring out of his mouth lately and I am not even sure I could count how many there are. He both signs and says "more" and "all done" and uses "more" for about 10 different things- do it again, more food, another book, don't stop, push that swing one more time, and at times when I have no idea what he means.

His hair is long and curly and growing longer all the time, people comment on it constantly. He is confused for a girl about half the time, most recently today by my 93 year old grandfather who probably just lost track of which of his 13 great grandchildren were hugging him.

Henry is obsessed with books, wants them read over and over and over, and he identifies words and pictures in his favorites. One of his clearest words is "Arlo" who is our tabby cat, but all cats in every book become "Arlo" in Henry's world.

Some other things he loves to say are:
Thank You
Grandma
Grandpa
Baby (baybu)
Dad (dadu)
Mom
Milk
Teeth
Nose
Shoes
Socks
Book
Doggy (dada, not to be confused with daddy)
More
Head
Eyes
Cow
Moooo

and a few more I'm sure.

Sometimes Henry is prone to a very dramatic outburst of emotion, usually some very passionate tears over something highly tragic like us removing something inedible from his mouth or trying (horrors!) to change his diaper. I started saying "ACTING!" a la Jon Lovitz in the early '90s SNL with John Lithgow and now Henry proudly says "Acting" pretty often. It cracks Rob and I up.



He is fascinating right now, the volume of learning going on is staggering. He is also just adorable as he has learned to hug, kiss, and say "I love you" in his own little words (wubwu). He's sweet and melts you when he walks over and reaches up for a hug going "Awwhhhhhh".

He is a full time job, no joke. He's a job I like a lot. I have been also not writing here much because so many other things around us are so unhappy and it is hard to not complain about that junk and also I suspect the stress just makes me feel depressed and not like writing. Henry makes this all better. Sometimes he is the only good thing going for Rob and I. It isn't fair to complain about things like money and work and money when others have big problems, really we're quite lucky. But when you are in the throes of many bad things, it is hard to see outside yourself.

Henry helps that quite a bit. His world is simple and he doesn't know stress. I hope none of ours stays with him. He was a very serious little baby but seems a more carefree toddler. I hope so. No small person should shoulder their parents' issues.

I hope things get better in 2011, though it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But Hank is lovely. A wonderful, sweet spirit and really he is just love. I worry about him all the time, worry that he won't be happy or that he'll get sick or hurt himself but I suppose that is normal parenthood. I would love to say that I'll start writing again, talking about my family or things we do and learn but it is so hard right now. Henry is good. Rob and I are good. Our families are good. That should be enough!

I'll try to get better.

And a post would not be a post without some Henry shots, right? Henry's new cousin Seamus was born on November 24, which is also Rob's birthday. We managed to get a photo shoot together with Hiroki, Henry and Seamus just before Christmas and it was an adventure. Many takes later, we got one photo that was suitable for gifting to the proud grandparents, but along the way there were some very cute moments. A few of them are documented here. Hiro is 2.5, Henry was 15 months and Seamus was almost one month old.

Extended Breastfeeding

There are so many things I didn't know before I had a baby in my life. There are plenty of things I STILL don't know but it is interesting how quickly you become expert in certain things that become very important to you and then later you can't believe you never knew it.
I knew almost nothing about breastfeeding until a couple of years ago. Nothing at all. I didn't know that you could feed a baby JUST breastmilk and they'd thrive. I never put much thought into it but I guess I just assumed all babies needed either formula, cereal or some other type of food for growth and development.

I also had very little experience with anyone breastfeeding around me- not exclusively, just breastfeeding at all. My main motivation with my breastfeeding plan was to save money initially. I thought about paying for a year's worth of formula and it made my head spin. So my plan became to breastfeed as much as possible.

Then I began to read about exclusive breastfeeding and delaying solids and even about extended breastfeeding. I knew this would be challenging with working full time, and I have no longterm goals but so far my boy has avoided both formula and cow's milk. He eats solids but his diet is still more than half breastmilk. I ran across these tips for breastfeeding until age 2, as the WHO recommends. We're already on our way to that point, so why not make age 2 a new goal? Not everyone can get this far, we've been really lucky and I have only ever looked a month ahead at a time.
Maybe these tips will help push us through the next 10 months:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/09/natural-weaning.html

Weaning causes:
*biggest one: Cow's milk - they substitute cow's milk for ...breastmilk. If you are breastfeeding, there is NO need for cow's milk, ever. They don't need it for nutrition, and it is a fast path to weaning for *many* babies.

Another caveat with cow's milk - if your baby/toddler is allergic to cow's milk, she will crave it - she will drink several cups/bottles a day. This of course will quickly take the place of breastmilk. Check for food/dairy allergies with your doctor if your baby is preferring cow's milk to momma's milk.
*Pregnancy - the taste of milk changes. Many children though can still be taught to relatch after the birth. Research this, or find a lactation specialist that specializes in this.
*Too many solids - especially between the 9-14 month mark - at this age, they only should have one "solid" meal a day, the rest of their nutrition should be coming from breastmilk. There are some scientists who believe babies don't biologically need solids until about 14 months of age. Even at 2 years of age, the ratio of breastmilk to solids should be somewhere between 75/25 to 50/50.
*Not offering the breast first.
* Only nursing once at night and once in the morning. They still should be nursing 5-7 times minimum daily during the toddler years.
* Night weaning - which is usually mother-led, and leads to faster weaning overall.
* Nursing Strikes - this is a common misconception that happens to babies before one year old. Moms think their babies are self-weaning, but they are actually are just on a nursing strike. Nursing strikes tend to be overcome quickly, especially when solids are decreased and dairy is eliminated.
*Other external causes

Leaving

I have never spent a night away from my boy. I spend all day most days away from him, and that is enough. Rob has had a few conferences and a few trips with his friends since Henry was born and has been away about 5 times. I have not.
This weekend will be the first night. I know Henry will be well cared for with his awesome Grandma Susan and Great Grandma Dixie, but I'll miss him. I am worried that he'll be scared at night and wonder where we are. The reality is that he'll probably sleep right through the night which he never does in our house in his own bed- or in ours.
Rob and I met 5 years ago tomorrow and we're going to celebrate at the first place we ever traveled to together, a bed and breakfast in Ste. Genevieve, MO. This part is straight out of a harlequin romance novel: the room we stayed in then and that we'll occupy this weekend is the "Rendezvous Room". What I remember most about our "redezvous" was that we used the jacuzzi tub AND turned on the gas fireplace and minutes later were so overheated that we literally stumbled out of our room onto the outdoor deck to cool off, it was November and we didn't even have jackets on. I was dizzy and dehydrated, our room had baked my brain. Sorry, Rob, but that's what I remember. The blissful 30 degree evening brought me back to life.

So we'll go rendezvous-ing again, but this time I think we'll leave the fireplace off. And I imagine we'll sleep through the night. I could count on one hand, maybe two, the number of times that has happened since 9/2/9. I will also miss my boy like crazy. That little bugger has gotten under my skin.

A Birthday with a Boy

Today was my 36th birthday. I did nothing exceptional. I did take the day off which was nice. There is no way I'd pass any of my personal time in that place, and that is all I have to say about work.

So my boy and I spent the day together. I made him some eggs and French toast and we ate together, then I made a list and we went to the bank and then Target. On the way, he fell asleep so I spent 20 minute in the Target parking lot on the phone letting him catch a catnap. He was in the Ergo in Target as I shopped, I handed him a toy and he chewed on it until it dropped from the carrier onto the floor and he said "uh-oh" about 10 times before I realized he'd dropped his little light up pumpkin toy.

After wandering around in the Ergo, I figured he needed some toddling time so we walked across a few parking lots to the library. Henry and I read some books in the kid's section, he socialized with a couple of kids while some very loud mom read a book to her brood and her daycare kids and I was simultaneously jealous that she sees her kid more than an hour a day and annoyed that she couldn't lower her voice in the library while reading or narrating her life story to toddlers.

On to Aldi's where again the boy was in the Ergo, and I handed his curious hands a plum after wiping it off on my shirt then with a wipe. He ate the entire thing, all with just one tooth. Skin and all, I managed to get the pit and toss that out.

From there, we went home to lunch which was hummus and pita, grapes, and Greek yogurt.

I attempted to nap with him, but he resisted my efforts.

Rob came home, we got out of bed, went outside for a bit then went to yet another box store to find the vacuum bags that Target no longer carries and the boy fell asleep. They stayed in the parking lot and I got my bags, then we all moved to the Royale for dinner.

Henry wandered around making friends, and met Chloe who is the owner's niece. Rob and I shared beer and grilled cheese with apples as Henry had samples of our food plus more hummus, water, and O s (Cheerios, though I prefer to leave them unbranded in his little head) and grew more and more tired.

We came home, put our little person to bed, and watched The Visitor which made me sad.

Then I read birthday messages on Facebook happily, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

This is my life now, simple and small. I wish it could be like this every day.

Henry is One!

And Mama is a bad, bad blogger. I have not written in so long that my boy has begun to walk, to sign, to jabber at us and has had a birthday!! I vow to update in the next week on the milestones. We are now officiallly extended breastfeeding, extended rearfacing and just really happy to have raised this little person for the last year!
Woo-hoo!! Happy Birthday, my boy.

Baby Item Endorsement Part II

Before I go on my long-winded tear, I have to say that Henry is sooo close to taking his first steps. He's standing unassisted now and will step- holding on- between objects and let go briefly. He is pondering the first step, he'll stand there looking at where he wants to go, then drop down to his behind and crawl to his destination. I suppose walking is imminent, though I know he could do this balancing thing for months.

He still has no teeth! He is eating everything we eat anyway. Bean burritos are a new favorite. He's saying mama, dada, tchat which is cat I think, book, and bye. Sometimes he uses the words, sometimes inappropriately but he has those words. His hair is curlier than ever and he's now been to four states- Kansas was his most recent aquisition as we visited Rob's Aunt Barb and Uncle Chester in Lawrence two weeks ago. Over the next month, Henry is headed to Hannibal, MO and Kansas City to meet the Peris, Schieber Bukatys, and Ruppars. Mama is very happy to be getting out of town!!!

Now back to the baby item endorsements:

3. Cloth diapers. I’ve dedicated at least two long posts to cloth diapers here before, but they are an integral part of our daily lives now. I believe they would be item number 1 in importance if we didn’t live in such a driving city and require a carseat on a daily basis.

We use almost all Bum Genius products. At this point, we have about 50 diapers in our rotation. This is a bit excessive, no one really “needs” 50 diapers if you are diapering just one baby, but Cotton Babies has had THREE sales since Henry was born that featured $1 diapers. I’ve been to each sale and stocked up. I’ve also rotated out the diapers that were in the worst condition ($1 of course indicates “well loved” diapers) and passed those along to my sister and cousin who also plan to cloth diaper. Our diaper stash is now Bum Genius 3.0s, organic all in ones, sized all in ones, bamboo fitteds and Flips. The Flips are a new acquisition and the bamboo fitteds have been just about completely retired because the Flip organic insert is a great overnight diaper.

I also have one Fuzzi Bunz one size diaper and one Pooligan that had a holiday design that I could not resist. Many go for the more decorative diapers and I am a little jealous of the really nice colors and patterns that some diaper makers sell but we’re going for convenience and frugality here, so $30 diapers aren’t really at the top of the “need” list. But it doesn’t stop me from wishing for a red diaper, or maybe a purple or a brown- or some interesting patterns.

My diaper washing routine is pretty down pat by now. We have a diaper pail with liner on each floor of the house. We sent a wet bag to daycare every day along with 8 diapers. At the end of the day, I pull the dirties out of his daycare bag and dump them into a diaper pail, wet bag and all. Every 2-3 days, I pull both pail liners out and take them down to the basement. I put the diapers into the washer one by one, removing the inserts from the 3.0s and making sure the wipes make it into the washer drum. We had an unfortunate (read $175) mistake once when a wipe fell between the drum and motor of our washing machine. That mistake cannot be repeated. The pail liners and wet bags go into the wash with the diapers and wipes.

I run the washer on a cold wash, no soap. I leave the top open as I sort diapers and put the solid waste diapers into one wet bag. I take those upstairs to the bathroom where I hose off the waste with our brand new diaper sprayer (which rocks!!) and then take them back to the basement, throw them into the cold wash, shut the lid and run the wash.

When the cold wash ends, I return and put the washer on a hot wash with an extra rinse. I pour in ¼ of the recommended amount of detergent from an approved list of laundry detergents. I’ve used All Small and Mighty, Charlie’s Soap, and Rockin’ Green so far. I have no favorite at this time.

When the wash ends, I pull the 3.0 shells out and hang them up, along with the Flip covers and any nylon covers I’ve used and line dry them. The rest goes into the dryer along with a dry, clean towel to assist in the drying process. Our Bum Genius all in ones (organic and sized) often are still damp after a full dry cycle, so I hang them on our clothesline or drape them over our dining room chairs for the night.

Once in a while, the diapers start to stink even when they are clean and I will run a wash with just some Dawn dish detergent. This strips the diapers of excessive detergent and ammonia and has helped immensely with the stinkies that sometimes plague cloth.

I estimate we’d have spent close to $1000 on disposables by now, not to mention the environmental cost of the diapers in a landfill for 500 years, so I’d say cloth diapering has been the single most important act we’ve made to decrease our family’s carbon footprint in the last year.

I’ve learned a ton about cloth diapers and have a lot of opinions now on brands, detergents, cleaning, and am really excited to answer any questions anyone has. I’ve become a go-to person for those considering cloth diapering among some friends and family and I want to say about 100 times, GO FOR IT. It is not that hard, it is not as much of a pain as you may thing, it DOES work if you have to have your baby in daycare, you will save money and prevent so many chemicals from hitting your baby’s bottom and our groundwater via landfills.

Baby Item Endorsements!

My sister is going to have a baby! When this family starts reproducing, it really doesn't stop. My parents will now have a grandchild in 2008, 2009, and 2010. So far, that is, 2011 is still a possibility. Not for us, um, no freaking way. On my side of the family, we are pretty close to our cousins. One of them had twins in June, making Henry the third youngest at the ripe old age of 9 months. Now my sister and another cousin are pregnant so by January, little 16 month old Henry will be the FIFTH youngest in the family and my grandma will have 11 great grandchildren. This is a seriously fertile family.And the baby talk reminded me that I need to send my sister a list of a few things we really feel like we needed/loved in our 10 months with Henry. Less is more when it comes to baby stuff, this I have learned. That and Craigslist is your friend. You use the big, expensive stuff for such a brief time that it doesn't make a lot of sense to invest in anything big and new- except for the car seat and the crib mattress, if you use a crib at all (we didn't until recently).
So I have decided to make a post of what we had, used, and what I'd recommend if asked what you really need for a baby.
1. Car Seat.
This is actually a 2 item category. We have used the infant seat and the convertible carseat. I really don't think you need to go high end, but some research into safety is important.
We opted for the Graco Snug Ride 32. We also got the travel system that includes the carseat, one carseat base, and the stroller that matches and attaches to the carseat.
In hindsight, I'd still have gotten the Snug Ride and one base for each of our cars, but I'd have skipped the travel system. That is a waste of money. We've used it about 10 times, and I think our money (actually not ours at it was a gift!!) would have been better spent getting the car seat, bases, and a stroller frame which is just a little cart that the car seat can snap into.
Then later, when your little person outgrows that infant seat, if a stroller is still needed, I would recommend either a jogging stroller of your choice (we don't have one, so I'm not sure about the best brands!) or an inexpensive and very portable umbrella stroller.

All these carriers on wheels pale in comparison to what I have discovered is the best way to carry around a baby of any size and is the reason I don't endorse spending a pile of cash on something that keeps your kid at a distance from you, takes up storage space, and is heavy and cumbersome to transport: to wear your baby!
This brings me to the next must have:
2. Baby Carriers

I say plural carriers, though my favorite one can probably be used from birth until toddlerhood. I didn't have it, though, until Henry was 6 months old and my favorite newborn carrier was the Moby Wrap. I used the newborn wrap, the Moby comes with instructions but I felt like I learned more from youtube, watching actual parents wrap actual newborns in this wrap. The Moby is essentially a long strip of fabric and you learn quickly how to fold it around yourself to keep your baby close. It is ideal for the newborn days when the floppy little warm bundle needs lots of support to be close to your body. I never learned to nurse inside the wrap, though it is advertized that this is possible. The upside to this is legion, you have your hands free and your baby close and I wore Henry in some really, really cold weather and he would sleep soundly and not even notice the winter around him. Despite what Moby advertizes, you should NEVER, EVER wear a baby in a Moby Wrap on your back. This is not safe.
When he got to about 15 lbs, the Moby got really stretchy and I felt like my bigger baby was hanging lower and lower when I wore him for an hour or so and I needed something new. By then, Henry could hold his head up and it was time for something big, something that would last a while and all my research led me to my favorite baby accessory yet,The ERGO!!! This pricey carrier is an investment I do not regret. When I decided this was the carrier for me, I searched high and low for a used model. They simply to not exist. Not at baby resale shops, not at yard sales, not on Craigslist. A new Ergo will run you about $100 but with the dearth of used Ergos, I imagine you could recoup almost every penny if you tried it out and decided it was not for you.
I have no photos of me wearing Henry but Rob finds the Ergo to be a pretty good fit for him and here he is hiking on a family trip to Carbondale when the little man was 6 months old. The Ergo can go on the front or the back, and there is a built in pocket for a diaper or your keys. There is also a little hood that can protect your baby from the sun or hold his head steady if he falls asleep as you are walking, as you can see from the photo.
To be continued, because there are more items that we rely on every day!