Clayton is 7 weeks old right now, and things are going well. He's growing big (very big!) and is 6 month clothing right now. Yikes. I'm sure he'll slow down, as this family doesn't seem to have giant babies other than at birth.
It's hard for me to believe this is week 7 because I feel 100%, completely normal. I think I felt this way several weeks ago even. What a difference the second baby makes!!! I'm not sure if it was having him at home, him being the second baby, just a general mindset of an experienced parent, or a combination of all of the above, but I feel great. At 7 weeks postpartum with Henry, I was moving slower, still having some pain, and feeling hormonal and overwhelmed. I have none of that this time. Nursing is easy, Clayton is a delight, and I'm figuring out how to take care of two kiddos. Physically, I feel like I never gave birth which is amazing to me!
With Henry, I had 5 weeks left at this point before I returned to work. I was dreading every day that passed. I cried daily about it. I'm not going back to work this time. Staying at home with kids was never on my radar before Henry, and really not even a realistic possibility then. Like the whole birth and recovery experience, this time around is a totally new ballgame. My salary was going to be negated by daycare and I really did not like my job. It was never a great position to have, but it was something I could handle and my foot in the door to employment in Peoria which was important. I did fine there, nothing outstanding, but adequate I believe, and gradually felt more and more buried in liability there. Things beyond my control were happening and continuing to escalate, and as a supervisor I began to feel like many fell back to me and could potentially follow me around for the rest of my career- or what would be left of my career if I had those things in my background. It was too much. A social worker doesn't earn enough money to take on huge legal responsibilities and to work 50-60 weeks while being on call every minute of the day. No thanks.
Fortunately we had options. Rob is gainfully employed and carries our health insurance. Living on his salary alone will mean things are tight, but doable. I was ready to be relieved of the responsibilities of that job. I think Rob was ready as well, though the financial aspect of that change is pretty monumental.
We've hashed and rehashed our finances, and will continue to do so. I'm going to continue to work on small projects that might bring in some income and to budget our groceries and gas and clothing carefully. I am now a stay at home mom. It doesn't feel permanent yet, especially given that if I were on maternity leave, I'd barely be halfway through my FMLA. I think it will feel "real" at week 12 or 13.
Right now I'm just learning about spending all day with my boys. I'm enjoying it! Henry is a real challenge, but we're working on it. I'll write more about some of our projects, but I have time to get there. I barely feel like I am qualified to talk about being a "stay at home" anyway, not yet.
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