Birth Story for Clayton Mark

I was 41 weeks exactly the day Clayton arrived. I had Henry at 40 and 4 so I was surprised to go past that day but not really worried. I was uncomfortable but not miserable and I knew life with two little people was going to be challenging so I wasn’t rushing it! My only concern at reaching 41 was that our carefully planned homebirth would be likely impossible past 42 weeks as my midwife would risk me out. Just as with Henry, I had no signs of labor in advance at all, absolutely nothing.

But it didn’t matter! The morning of 41 weeks, May 29, 2013, I woke up uncharacteristically early and instead of rolling (with difficulty) back over to sleep, I got up and made myself a big breakfast in the silence while Henry and Rob slept. When Henry got up, I made him breakfast then went and reclined a little on the couch. It was then I noticed that my pants were getting wet, not much but noticeably. I knew I hadn’t wet my pants, and nothing was coming out when I stood up, so I guessed that I had a leak in my amniotic sac and reclining was allowing it to come out. I was so happy! This was the beginning of things! It was around 9am. I immediately texted our midwife and doula. Rob was still in bed upstairs, so I texted him and said this was starting! We had prepared our house for the birth, but at 41 weeks we had been “ready” many times over and then some towels would get used, the kitchen would get cluttered again, and the rug would need a vacuum so there were always one or two things left to do. Rob called his mom and dad, as they were each planning to drive here from their respective cities and be here around birthing time. Together we put the waterproof pad on our bed and remade it with clean sheets, and I had a big contraction. I was determined to get the laundry out of the dryer and folded, so I did that and by the time I finished, I was timing contractions. Rob called the midwife, Brande, and told her this was real, then called the doula and asked her to come now. Brande was at another birth, so she said she was sending her backup and an assistant. In her years of practice in our city, my midwife has never missed a birth but mine became that milestone for her.

Rob came to help with laundry and told me to stop because I was already moaning through the contractions. I began to rely on him to put pressure on my hips. I had 2-3 minutes between then, during which I continued to get things ready and Rob was running around inflating our tub, making sure Henry had a video to watch, and pulling the hoses into place to start filling the tub. He told me to put on my swimsuit because I wouldn’t feel like it later, so I was wearing a suit and leaning on our buffet having contractions as our birth team began assembling.

Our doula Joanna arrived, and the backup midwife Amie and her assistant Malory (a midwife in training) with her, all around the same time, about 11am. The tub was nearly full and Amie asked if I wanted to get in. I said “It’s not too early?” and she chuckled at me and said no, it definitely was not too early.

I got in and that felt really nice. It was a warm, sunny day and our windows were open, and the pool felt cool and relaxing, and the next few contractions were a little easier. I had studied Hypnobabies and know the scripts pretty well, so I put them in my head and would just try to keep my moaning low when the intensity hit me, and just think “open, open, open” while staying on top of the wave. I stayed ahead of the pain, and Rob, JoAnna, probably Amie (midwife) and Malory (assistant) all put pressure on my hips and lower back. I was on my knees the entire time. I didn’t know whose hands were where but I appreciated the pressure especially as the baby got lower. It wasn’t long until I knew I was going to need to push. I didn’t have to tell anyone a thing, as I heard someone say they could tell by the shape of my back and tailbone that the baby was right there. I was scared to push after  tearing with Henry, but of course this was happening whether I was scared or not! I had pushing urges through two contractions before I finally gave in and decided it was time. I let myself push just a little and started to feel something come out. I was really shocked thinking this is a head, on the first push?? But it wasn’t; it was soft. It was the amniotic sac coming out intact. I pushed again on the next wave and it came out like a bubble and I said, “There is a sac out!” because I wasn’t sure if anyone could see since I was on my knees and upright, leaning on the tub wall.

Then I got to pushing again and this was definitely not a sac, but a head! It wasn’t as bumpy as I remember feeling with Henry, but that can be explained by Henry having an arm up next to his head and this baby did not (thankfully!!!). Amie told me to move one of my legs further over, and I became acutely aware of how important it was then to listen to the midwives. I knew this baby would be big and I knew shoulder dystocia could be an issue so I was ready for any instruction, and would have stood on my head if they asked me to. I felt the pressure of the head for what seemed like a very short time, and then some relief from the pressure and then Amie said I should stop pushing right then. I did, and didn’t know why until later but our baby came out with his cord wrapped tightly around his neck. The sac was intact over his head, so Amie broke it and unwrapped the cord. She said it wasn’t pulsating at that point and this means the baby went briefly into distress as he emerged and took a breath or two in the tub, so their efforts turned quickly to get him to expel the fluid and take some breaths while his cord was again pulsing and aided by my placenta.  The rest of the baby came out pretty easily as I recall, and Malory had caught him behind me, so I had to take a step back over my cord and sit down to hold him.

Rob said he was born at 12:35pm, so that became the official record. We didn’t take a look at the sex of the baby right away, as he was wrapped in towels and the midwives were giving him oxygen from a little tube directed at his nose and mouth, and were also trying to help keep my shaky arms from letting him get too far into the water of the birthing pool as the water was cool and he needed to stay warm. I kept asking if he was OK, and they assured me he was pinking up and doing better, just that he needed to spit out more water as his lungs were a little wet. I was happy to be through labor, a little worried about this baby, and elated that he was out and we had our healthy little child, whomever he or she was! Rob got Henry and asked if he wanted to see the baby, and he came over briefly but wasn’t impressed, or maybe his video was too important, but when Rob came back I said should we see if we have a boy or girl? I lifted up the towel and before I could see anything, I felt boy parts and said that we had a boy. I was happy about that, having decided a while ago that we’d likely have a boy and that I’d be happy to be the mom of boys.

I was contracting again with the placenta and Amie wasn’t happy with how the baby was breathing, so Malory asked if I wanted go to the bathroom to deliver the placenta and Amie would help the baby breathe better, and I agreed. Skin to skin was important, but the cord had stopped pulsating and he couldn’t try to nurse until his breathing improved so it was best to get him warm and dry and breathing well. Rob cut the cord and helped me get to the bathroom. When I got out of the tub, I could see the cord and also the sac were still there attached to me. The midwives told me he’d been born in the caul, amniotic sac intact. This is said to be a sign of good fortune and is considered a great  honor and blessing in some cultures. I remember seeing cows at my uncle’s farm when I was younger, fresh from delivering a calf, with the afterbirth hanging from them and that is what the sac reminded me of. It was an odd feeling.

I delivered the placenta, which was NOT comfortable, and Malory helped me clean up a little and then get toweled off and into robe and then helped to a recliner in the living room. While I was in the bathroom, I heard Amie call Brande, my main midwife to consult about our baby’s color and breathing. This worried me, and I kept asking “Is he OK? Is he OK?” and I trusted that they would do what was best, even if that meant calling 911 to get him extra help. But the midwives carry oxygen and masks and even some emergency medications that can assist with breathing, and the extra oxygen helped the baby start to breathe more easily.

They handed him to me, and Henry climbed up on my lap to see his brother. I was happy to have both my boys there.

 Amie held the little oxygen hose close to the baby’s face during this time and said when his breathing was stable, he’d try to latch on. It wasn’t long before he did! That was a relief.

Rob and I announced that his name would be Clayton Mark, Clayton after Rob’s best friend who was a really incredible person and character who fought cancer for years, living an amazing life despite it. He passed away in 2011. Mark is my brother’s name, so we’re honoring two great men.

Rob's mom Susan arrived; the midwives weighed and measured Clayton on a quilt my grandma in law Dixie made.

I had them guess his weight before they put him in their sling scale. The guesses ranged from high 8lb range, to mid 9lbs and I said 9lbs 10oz. We were all wrong; this big boy was 10lbs8oz! I couldn’t believe it. His head circumference was similar to his brother’s, 14 and ¾ of an inch, and they were the same length, 21 inches. Henry was 9lbs7oz at birth and I needed quite a few stitches due to his head circumference and his nuchal arm. I expected to need them again, but amazingly when I was checked they decided I didn’t need any!!! That was the best news after hearing that Clayton was breathing well. Whew.

The midwives and doula helped clean up, got me some water and tea and Rob brought me some food. I cuddled with our little boy and off and on with our big one, and enjoyed the warm, sunny day and the fresh air coming in our open windows. This was my first homebirth and it was so different and very comfortable and seemed so normal. We were in no hurry, no one was taking our baby off for anything, no strangers were in and out, we weren’t changing rooms, and I was wearing my own clothes and cuddling with both my children in my own chair.

Our doula Joanna, as it turns out, is also a photographer and captured some beautiful photos of my labor and Clayton’s birth. I am grateful for them and will share those with this story. I am also honored that Clayton was Malory’s first “catch” and that she was very, very excited about him and us and I’m happy for her to be part of his birth story. I’m thankful for Amie’s expertise and for Brande’s input that helped get our little man off to a good start. He has been healthy and very strong since that date. He nurses very well and has been alert, content, and a very good sleeper in his first few days of life.

We are resting and recovering and adjusting to life a as a family of four. Henry is very interested in “his” baby and is loving him as much as we do. I feel that my recovery after this birth has been much easier than with Henry, though birthing such a big boy has been an adjustment to my body and I’m taking it easy.

We love our newest little Fingerhawk!