The Best OB

I still wish there were options for birthing in Missouri. I wish I could have a midwife and choose where I give birth. But that is not the case.
I posted before about choosing my OB and I have renewed confidence in that decision. Usually I see the Nurse Practioner at my doctor's office. I have for years, and she is very competent and open-minded and I have learned she over-discloses personal details of her life. After at least one annual visit for 7-8 years and a few in between for follow-ups, I have learned about her sex life, her birth control history, her children, and many other details. The nature of an annual exam at an OB/GYN office is rather personal and intrusive, so sometimes it seems only fair that an NP poking around your nether regions and asking who you sleep with, when and how also lay some personal information out there and put you back on semi-equal ground. I like her.
But last visit with the nurse practioner was at 21 weeks pregnant, not an annual exam. Right off the bat, she reviews my chart and says my weight gain is "thumbs down". I gained 8 lbs in a month. I know you should not gain 8 lbs EVERY month, but my god, I was still hardly showing! I'd just had the ultrasound a week earlier and the results showed the fetus itself was ONE pound. Add in the extra blood I'm producing, the fluid the fetus is living and thriving in, and yes that I am probaby less active than usual, and 8 lbs is not terribly much. She encouraged me to watch my diet and exercise more.
I have never in my life worried about my weight, or even thought that much of it. But it worried me all month long. What if I gained ANOTHER 8 lbs and earned another "thumbs down"?!

This month, at my 25 week appointment, my OB was our attendant. What a difference a month makes. She told me I'd gained 6 lbs. I cringed, waiting to hear her say that was not good. She said, well you are up 20 total, not bad. I thought she'd only wanted me to gain 25 total and asked her about that. She said, eh, no worries. WHAT?! I told her the NP had commented that the 8 lb gain last month was not good. My lovely OB said, well how tall are you? I told her 6'1" and she said, well you were pretty skinny to start with. Look at you, you barely look pregnant now. You're fine.

I love her! Then she reassured me that my back pain was normal and that I am carrying an extra 20 lbs exclusively in my abdominal area so of course my back is going to have extra strain in adjusting to this and I should do whatever works to get relief. We discussed the size of the uterus and the baby, both of which she proclaimed to be "average" at this point and not a concern. I told her of Rob and my family history of big babies: between our two mothers there were 6 full term babies, 2 of whom were 10 lbs and the other 4 all over 9 lbs. She smiled and said, "Wow, big babies! Well, that means your body is built to deliver a big baby and your pelvis can handle it."
What a positive way to look at this history! She said several times in her calm way, "You can do this" and not in an encouraging, pep talk way, but in a reassuring, "of course you can" way. She encouraged me to try the hypnobabies I am thinking of, told us a positive story of a first time mom who arrived at the hospital already dilated to 8 after walking around WalMart and Babies R Us laboring with her sister (I'd pick different locales but I like the idea!) and generally put both Rob and I at ease. Of COURSE I can fly at 29 weeks to NYC, of COURSE I should get more exercise but don't worry about my weight, of COURSE I can deliver without a million interventions.
I asked her about being overdue and how she'd handle that if I were. I know the average first pregnancy is over 41 weeks and last appointment when I'd broached this topic with the NP she was not reassuring to me, saying the OB "does not life for moms to go overdue because the placenta can calcify". She mentioned the "I" word (induction) and I did not like that answer. Most women with uncomplicated pregnancies who don't go into labor before 41 weeks have no placenta issues at all; their babies are just not ready to come. There are simple tests to make sure baby and placenta are find and usually sometimes after 41 weeks, labor starts on its own.

At this visit, questioning the OB herself, I heard a different song. She prefers that women not go over 41 weeks, but takes each situation on a case-by-case basis. She also finished this explanation by saying, "But you won't go overdue. You'll be fine."

This is why I picked this doctor!! I walked out feeling very confident and much better about everything. I'm not sure what I'd do if I'd walked out doubting myself. Fortunately, I don't have to find out. I am very lucky to have her.