Back to Work

I have been back to work now for 2 weeks and a few days. Dropping Henry off at the home daycare we found and going to work that first day was the hardest thing I've had to do in years, possibly ever. I was so very sad to be handing him over. The days since then have gotten better but are not yet really fun. I miss my little man so much and think of him all day long. I like the daycare provider and her home seems to be a very happy, warm and safe place. I think she likes Henry a lot and that he has a good time there. He sleeps away most evenings now and I imagine this is because he had a long day of activity and attention. That is a relief to me; I know he is well cared for. Then again, evenings are my only time now with him and it is a little sad when he is asleep for most of it. On the third hand, I have gotten holiday baking done because he is sleeping! I love the weekends. I want to hold him or wear him in the Moby wrap as much as I can.
The schedule is tough now also. I am working 8-5 in order to have a day off every other week. My days begin (sort of) around 6 when the H man wakes up very slowly and wants to eat. I feed him while half asleep and we both doze off until 6:30 and I have to get up. Henry stays in bed while I clean up and get dressed, then he usually is awake enough to get changed and then sit on Rob or on his Boppy while I gather his daycare necessities, my pump and all the parts and bottles that I've washed the night before, and maybe throw in a load of laundry. I feed him one more time and we are out the door by 7:15. I drop him about 7:30 and cry my way to work. Once there, I am OK and go about catching up on all the work I didn't do for 3 months. I'm not terribly good at this and not particularly enthusiastic about work because funding cuts have really decimated some of the services my clients have relied on and I hate being the bearer of bad news- and having gather the same amount of data for much reduced services. Then there is political drama, cliquey crap, questionable supervision from higher up than my office, holiday activities that are at times enjoyable and others more trouble than they are worth, and worries about money and funding and how clients will swing utility bills in a harsh economic climate this winter. I sometimes go to feed him at lunchtime, that too is a good break in my day.
The best part of the day is 5:00, really 4:57 as this is generally when the 5pm exiters move towards the elevators and out the doors. I head towards my baby and really nothing makes me happier.