Two years with Henry came and went on Sept. 2, 2011. I again have neglected the updates and the photography. I'm mother of the year! Henry did not end up with a haircut in Milwaukee, hence the dearth of first haircut photos. He became very frightened of even the sight of the apron my friend attempted to put on him. It was child-sized and covered in friendly animal print; Henry would have none of it. He screamed as if he were about to have surgery and clung to me. Haircut attempt 1: fail. I am not sure where the fear originates since he's neither been in a hair salon nor been threatened or injured in one, so the panic is a mystery.
I did trim his long hair myself in St. Louis during a visit in August. I took about 4 inches off and saved many little curly pony tail locks because that is what Mothers of the Year do. The hair is still long, and all strangers think Henry is a girl. Rob and I do not care a bit and never correct them; it only gets awkward when strangers learn his name is Henry and fall all over themselves trying to explain how he really DOESN'T look like a girl after all. We don't care. Henry is awesome and would be if he were a she too. She would probably also dress and look the same.
The vocabulary expansion is epic. I would guess Henry has 500 words or so and regularly speaks in long sentences. He even jokes with words now. Even with all of his words, I still love when he's missing a term he needs and says things like, "Mommy, put the 'this' on the bread for Henry". That would be butter; but he's missing that one word. At night, when he's dozing off and still resisting being carried to bed, he'll call out, "No Daddy, I wanna have THIS!" and he means please take me back into your room where I can finish the nursing that I wanted before my sleep. He knows that we know what he wants, so why waste words when you're tired??
That is funny, too, because Henry is freaking VERBOSE. Constant chatter comes from that little mouth. Sometimes it is songs or rhymes, sometimes narrating what he's doing or planning a day of adventure (Henry go swimming with Papa Joe!), sometimes talking to his toys or "reading" his books. He's sweet to us; asks now nightly for "family hugs" and also when out walking, will reach for one of us and demand a hug or a kiss even if we're crossing Main street with its notorious walk sign ignorers.
Two is the best age ever. Neither Rob nor I would choose the early days over this, not even with tantrums and strong preferences on what he wears, reads, or eats. I think Rob has Green Eggs and Ham memorized but still reads it with gusto nightly because Henry loves it so. Maddie is his best buddy and the two of them give each other awkward, mauling hugs at the end of each day.
My work is fine. I have ups and downs, some weeks feel like I should be looking at other jobs and the next week feel that we're gaining some stability. I am not a big fan of how my offices are run; by higher ups who all work out of town and treat us as an afterthought- if that. I get little feedback and while I appreciate non-hovering supervisory styles, I have no idea WTF I am doing or what will be next. Some days I spend 4 hours online playing on my message boards and then the entire next week I'll have so much work that I never even get a lunch break. It is feast or famine and it confuses me.
Rob is doing fantastically. He is busy in his first semester of teaching and reports that Bradley is treating him well and that his department is very supportive and stable. We discovered in mid-September that he'd very unexpectedly won a prestigious award for his dissertation. The award is the highest honor in the country for someone earning an American Studies degree. It opens up some new opportunities for Rob and possibly for us but the concensus in this family is that we're staying in Peoria and near Bradley for a long time. All opportunities will be reviewed and hopefully at the least Rob gets a book out of the deal. We're both going to Baltimare later in October where he'll accept his award and also presumably be wooed by academic presses. I will spend some times with a nearby ninja and also enjoy a nice, toddler free dinner with Rob and our friends Suki and Betsy because my mother-in-law has again come to our rescue and will keep Henry for a few days while we travel. I am excited!
Photos to come, the house has not changed much since I returned to work. I have some plans but nothing really exciting to report...yet. It is livable and we like the space, but I think we could live here 10 years and still not shake the feel of students lingering in the old house. Henry does bring life and excitement to everything, though.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Peorians
We are now Peorians! Seven weeks have flown by and Henry is almost two years old. There is so much to take in and blogging has fallen off my radar.
I owe a post with a LOT of photos now, I realize. We have a new house, Henry has some new riding toys, we've had a few good visits from family and friends who are like family, we have a fantastic porch that we all love, and Henry is a ham and a half. All are reasons to post photos and I'm just too tired to get up and get my camera right now.
First, the move:
We officially moved on June 6. It was the hottest day of the year to date and the moving van took about 12 hours to load. This is much longer than we'd expected so the caravan of my car, Rob's car, and Rob's mom's car complete with 4 pets, 1 todder, all of Rob's guitars and as many valuables as we could stuff in between all that didn't head up to Peoria until after 7pm. We could not stop for food or bathrooms because we had too much stuff and also the pets could not be left for even a few minutes in the stifling heat.
I felt energized and excited and the GPS led us into our new neighborhood via the beautiful and historic Moss Avenue. I was ready to get something to eat and get H into bed for the long day of truck unloading that would follow. Instead, we walked into what seemed like hell. The house was filthy, reeked of smoke, and as my little spaz toddler got his sea legs and began racing around the his room and the hallway upstairs, I realized with horror that the railing over the foyer was dangerously short. H discovered this by wrapping his little arms over the top and pulling his torso up even with the top of the rail. Below him was a two story drop into the front entryway. I lost my cool then, I was done. I started sobbing, wondering what had we done?! We had chosen the least child friendly house possible, the place was disgusting, and we had no money left to divert our belongings to a move to somewhere else. The options were spinning in my head. Could we have them just deliver our stuff to a storage unit? Can we break our lease? How soon can we find another place? But the reality was that our money was spent, our lease was signed and we were stuck.
There was no food to be found at that hour so I choked down about 3 bites of Domino's Pizza (ugh) and helped my mother in law wipe the layer of grime from the bathtub so Henry could have a bath and get some sleep.
By the morning, Susan had a plan. She made a list at some point late the night before or early before the moving van arrived and she told us it was going to be all right. We decided to believe her.
The furniture arrived, all of our things delivered and we began the first of many trips that week to Lowes, Babies R Us, and Target. We stocked up on baby gates, childproofing materials, hooks for clotheslines, sponges and mops for cleaning and vinegar and baking soda to take a layer of smoky dirt off the house.
Susan ended up staying all week, and I doubt she's ever had a LESS restful vacation from work. She was busy improving our house from 6am until 9pm every single night, and as she worked she'd think of new things to fix, make, do, or buy.
By the end of the week, Henry could not come near the low railing and our house was looking up. We still had a list of concerns that we had the landlord deal with- ahhh, the beauty of renting!!!
And that was moving day/week.
I started my job the following Monday so we introduced Henry to his new babysitter a few hours at a time. At first he was very shy but the mom who takes care of him also has a toddler named Madison who Henry warmed to very quickly. He still talks abou his old daycare friends in St. Louis but first in his conversations these days is "Medicine", aka his buddy Madison. Maddie also has a cute baby brother named Mason and Henry loves him too.
Henry had some rough sleep patches in the last month or so, including a couple nights of newborn-like wakefulness. Those nights remind us how far we've come and make me feel like death warmed over. In a new job, with no vacation hours built up, I had no choice but to push through some really long days when all I wanted was to sleep. I had one morning where I actually felt so groggy that it seemed dangerous to drive, but Rob was out of town. This is the tough part about a new city and knowing no one. I had no options. I had to get Henry to his sitter and get to work.
We've survived! We're even making a few friends. Henry now loves "Sawa" and "Medicine" and he plays happily all day, swimming and sliding, listening to music and doing puzzles.
He's been showing off all sorts of new talents. Counting correctly up to 14 is his newest feat, he can also get through most of the alphabet and recognize a few letters individually. I can no longer come close to counting all his words, but there are probably 100 or more. He has a little sense of humor and also says things that neither Rob nor I taught him.
He is still nursing, usually 2 times a day and he will announce when it is "milkie time!" We take walks almost daily and most of them conclude with a visit to the playground near our house. Life is slower here because we don't know people or have much of a social life, but work is keeping me busy and Rob is prepping for his school year by working long hours on syllabi and articles. Henry is going to be 2 soon and I can hardly believe it!!
He and I are taking a road trip to Milwaukee this weekend to meet up with my ninja friends, a group of women I met online while we were pregnant with August (and September in my case) 2009 babies. One of them is a stylist and is going to give Henry his first haircut. I do promise to post photos of that and maybe even a video.
That is the latest from Peoria! We're adjusting to life here very well and despite the rough beginning; we really like our house and neighborhood. I think we're going to be really happy here.
I owe a post with a LOT of photos now, I realize. We have a new house, Henry has some new riding toys, we've had a few good visits from family and friends who are like family, we have a fantastic porch that we all love, and Henry is a ham and a half. All are reasons to post photos and I'm just too tired to get up and get my camera right now.
First, the move:
We officially moved on June 6. It was the hottest day of the year to date and the moving van took about 12 hours to load. This is much longer than we'd expected so the caravan of my car, Rob's car, and Rob's mom's car complete with 4 pets, 1 todder, all of Rob's guitars and as many valuables as we could stuff in between all that didn't head up to Peoria until after 7pm. We could not stop for food or bathrooms because we had too much stuff and also the pets could not be left for even a few minutes in the stifling heat.
I felt energized and excited and the GPS led us into our new neighborhood via the beautiful and historic Moss Avenue. I was ready to get something to eat and get H into bed for the long day of truck unloading that would follow. Instead, we walked into what seemed like hell. The house was filthy, reeked of smoke, and as my little spaz toddler got his sea legs and began racing around the his room and the hallway upstairs, I realized with horror that the railing over the foyer was dangerously short. H discovered this by wrapping his little arms over the top and pulling his torso up even with the top of the rail. Below him was a two story drop into the front entryway. I lost my cool then, I was done. I started sobbing, wondering what had we done?! We had chosen the least child friendly house possible, the place was disgusting, and we had no money left to divert our belongings to a move to somewhere else. The options were spinning in my head. Could we have them just deliver our stuff to a storage unit? Can we break our lease? How soon can we find another place? But the reality was that our money was spent, our lease was signed and we were stuck.
There was no food to be found at that hour so I choked down about 3 bites of Domino's Pizza (ugh) and helped my mother in law wipe the layer of grime from the bathtub so Henry could have a bath and get some sleep.
By the morning, Susan had a plan. She made a list at some point late the night before or early before the moving van arrived and she told us it was going to be all right. We decided to believe her.
The furniture arrived, all of our things delivered and we began the first of many trips that week to Lowes, Babies R Us, and Target. We stocked up on baby gates, childproofing materials, hooks for clotheslines, sponges and mops for cleaning and vinegar and baking soda to take a layer of smoky dirt off the house.
Susan ended up staying all week, and I doubt she's ever had a LESS restful vacation from work. She was busy improving our house from 6am until 9pm every single night, and as she worked she'd think of new things to fix, make, do, or buy.
By the end of the week, Henry could not come near the low railing and our house was looking up. We still had a list of concerns that we had the landlord deal with- ahhh, the beauty of renting!!!
And that was moving day/week.
I started my job the following Monday so we introduced Henry to his new babysitter a few hours at a time. At first he was very shy but the mom who takes care of him also has a toddler named Madison who Henry warmed to very quickly. He still talks abou his old daycare friends in St. Louis but first in his conversations these days is "Medicine", aka his buddy Madison. Maddie also has a cute baby brother named Mason and Henry loves him too.
Henry had some rough sleep patches in the last month or so, including a couple nights of newborn-like wakefulness. Those nights remind us how far we've come and make me feel like death warmed over. In a new job, with no vacation hours built up, I had no choice but to push through some really long days when all I wanted was to sleep. I had one morning where I actually felt so groggy that it seemed dangerous to drive, but Rob was out of town. This is the tough part about a new city and knowing no one. I had no options. I had to get Henry to his sitter and get to work.
We've survived! We're even making a few friends. Henry now loves "Sawa" and "Medicine" and he plays happily all day, swimming and sliding, listening to music and doing puzzles.
He's been showing off all sorts of new talents. Counting correctly up to 14 is his newest feat, he can also get through most of the alphabet and recognize a few letters individually. I can no longer come close to counting all his words, but there are probably 100 or more. He has a little sense of humor and also says things that neither Rob nor I taught him.
He is still nursing, usually 2 times a day and he will announce when it is "milkie time!" We take walks almost daily and most of them conclude with a visit to the playground near our house. Life is slower here because we don't know people or have much of a social life, but work is keeping me busy and Rob is prepping for his school year by working long hours on syllabi and articles. Henry is going to be 2 soon and I can hardly believe it!!
He and I are taking a road trip to Milwaukee this weekend to meet up with my ninja friends, a group of women I met online while we were pregnant with August (and September in my case) 2009 babies. One of them is a stylist and is going to give Henry his first haircut. I do promise to post photos of that and maybe even a video.
That is the latest from Peoria! We're adjusting to life here very well and despite the rough beginning; we really like our house and neighborhood. I think we're going to be really happy here.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Moving on up...
Things have been just crazy around these parts. Moving day is in four days and counting (YIKES!) and boxes now fill what used to be our dining room. The furniture is gradually moving out to freecyclers, friends, family, and the dumpster outside.
Rob has finished his PhD, defended his dissertation, and as of yesterday, completed the formatting needed to submit the whole thing for graduation. He is officially finished with his PhD. I am finished with my job and set to begin a new employment adventure on June 13.
Henry is handling all of this quite well but I can't help but feel bad for how much his world is about to be rocked. Tomorrow is his daycare party, the women are having a sendoff with treats and they tell me they are very sad to see him go. He'll be going to daycare next week at least for a day, maybe two, and then he'll be a Peorian like we are. He's too little to get any explanations on this, I just hope he can sleep at night and still feels secure.
Henry's vocabulary grows by like 10 words a day I think, or maybe we're just asking him the right questions to get new words out of him.
He is using sentences regularly "Daddy, I'm coming soon!!" "Mommy, where are you??" "Foster, come here NOW!", I love you Arlo, I love you Daddy, I love Mommy.
He also has 12 teeth, five of which grew into his gums in the last month. Poor kid, that has to hurt. He is absolutely hilarious and getting so very big.
Henry is 21 months old today and this is his last week in St. Louis. I am sad and also ready to have our move completed and to get settled in our new town.
Rob has finished his PhD, defended his dissertation, and as of yesterday, completed the formatting needed to submit the whole thing for graduation. He is officially finished with his PhD. I am finished with my job and set to begin a new employment adventure on June 13.
Henry is handling all of this quite well but I can't help but feel bad for how much his world is about to be rocked. Tomorrow is his daycare party, the women are having a sendoff with treats and they tell me they are very sad to see him go. He'll be going to daycare next week at least for a day, maybe two, and then he'll be a Peorian like we are. He's too little to get any explanations on this, I just hope he can sleep at night and still feels secure.
Henry's vocabulary grows by like 10 words a day I think, or maybe we're just asking him the right questions to get new words out of him.
He is using sentences regularly "Daddy, I'm coming soon!!" "Mommy, where are you??" "Foster, come here NOW!", I love you Arlo, I love you Daddy, I love Mommy.
He also has 12 teeth, five of which grew into his gums in the last month. Poor kid, that has to hurt. He is absolutely hilarious and getting so very big.
Henry is 21 months old today and this is his last week in St. Louis. I am sad and also ready to have our move completed and to get settled in our new town.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Big Changes
Since Blogger doesn't allow individual posts to be private, only for the entire blog to be public or private, I wasn't updating on all the new developments in our family.
But now things are public, open, and we're moving forward so it is long past time to update!
We are moving to Peoria, Illlinois. Rob got a terrific job opportunity that was a total surprise given the state of the economy and poor job prospects in his field. When the job was certain, I began a job hunt myself and found a good position in Peoria. Last week Rob and I visited the city for the third time each, and found a house to rent. We have to rent out our house in St. Louis and we have to find daycare, these are the major puzzle pieces that remain.
And all of our relocation process should be completed by mid-June. It is scary and exciting. We feel safe and comfortable in St. Louis and we know the area so well. Peoria will be a whole new adventure. The great thing about such an adventure is that is only about a 2.5 hour drive away. We can come visit family and friends as we want.
Daycare is giving me a lot of anxiety. Henry has been at the same place since he was 12 weeks old and he's certainly old enough now to know who his friends and care providers are. He is shy around strangers and the idea of uprooting him hurts my heart.
He'll be OK, but the change has to be soon and we know nothing about daycare in Peoria.
I'm scared.
And speaking of Henry, he is more hilarious and sweet and strong willed and stubborn and cute as he can be.
He grew 3 new teeth in the last month and has a fourth new one about to break through for a total of 10. He has very definite opinions on what he wants to eat and drink, and he is obsessed with swings and slides. He has dozens of new words and phrases including Foster (the dog), Let's Go!, I love Mommy, I love Daddy, I like pizza, Amane, Hiro, baby needs milk, Ready, Set, Go!, and more.
He is so funny. He had a new cousin born in April and her name just seems to roll of Henry's tongue, so we hear a lot of "I love Amane!". His cousin Seamus, who is just shy of 6 months old, is still "Baby" since Seamus appears to be more of a mouthful than H can handle just now.
He is still veyr into books, and we read about 10 of them a day- or more. He has a new preference for his clothing with trains on it, particularly a pair of pajamas with a Thomas engine on the shirt. He will cry "choo choo!" when I have to take it off in the morning and it breaks my heart. He is sleeping with a stuffed Grover doll these days, a gift from the Miros family and he has to kiss Grover when he gets out of bed in the morning. Again, freaking adorable.
He's still nursing a few times a day and still riding rearfacing in his carseat. There are no plans to change either of those.
I hope he adjusts well to a new house, new city, and a new daycare. He's incredible laid back and adaptive so I think it will be OK. We'll be learning together in our new city!
But now things are public, open, and we're moving forward so it is long past time to update!
We are moving to Peoria, Illlinois. Rob got a terrific job opportunity that was a total surprise given the state of the economy and poor job prospects in his field. When the job was certain, I began a job hunt myself and found a good position in Peoria. Last week Rob and I visited the city for the third time each, and found a house to rent. We have to rent out our house in St. Louis and we have to find daycare, these are the major puzzle pieces that remain.
And all of our relocation process should be completed by mid-June. It is scary and exciting. We feel safe and comfortable in St. Louis and we know the area so well. Peoria will be a whole new adventure. The great thing about such an adventure is that is only about a 2.5 hour drive away. We can come visit family and friends as we want.
Daycare is giving me a lot of anxiety. Henry has been at the same place since he was 12 weeks old and he's certainly old enough now to know who his friends and care providers are. He is shy around strangers and the idea of uprooting him hurts my heart.
He'll be OK, but the change has to be soon and we know nothing about daycare in Peoria.
I'm scared.
And speaking of Henry, he is more hilarious and sweet and strong willed and stubborn and cute as he can be.
He grew 3 new teeth in the last month and has a fourth new one about to break through for a total of 10. He has very definite opinions on what he wants to eat and drink, and he is obsessed with swings and slides. He has dozens of new words and phrases including Foster (the dog), Let's Go!, I love Mommy, I love Daddy, I like pizza, Amane, Hiro, baby needs milk, Ready, Set, Go!, and more.
He is so funny. He had a new cousin born in April and her name just seems to roll of Henry's tongue, so we hear a lot of "I love Amane!". His cousin Seamus, who is just shy of 6 months old, is still "Baby" since Seamus appears to be more of a mouthful than H can handle just now.
He is still veyr into books, and we read about 10 of them a day- or more. He has a new preference for his clothing with trains on it, particularly a pair of pajamas with a Thomas engine on the shirt. He will cry "choo choo!" when I have to take it off in the morning and it breaks my heart. He is sleeping with a stuffed Grover doll these days, a gift from the Miros family and he has to kiss Grover when he gets out of bed in the morning. Again, freaking adorable.
He's still nursing a few times a day and still riding rearfacing in his carseat. There are no plans to change either of those.
I hope he adjusts well to a new house, new city, and a new daycare. He's incredible laid back and adaptive so I think it will be OK. We'll be learning together in our new city!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Zero Waste
Not that our house could EVER look like this, but let me just use the video for some inspiration to begin the decluttering process.
http://vitality.yahoo.com/video-second-act-the-johnson-family-24454760
http://vitality.yahoo.com/video-second-act-the-johnson-family-24454760
Monday, March 7, 2011
Peoria
Things I knew about Peoria before last week when I became an obsessive Peoriafile:
Peoria is in the middle of Illinois, halfway between Chicago and St. Louis.
Bradley is in Peoria and the men's b-ball team often makes the NCAA tournament.
Bradley has a history department.
Peoria is a big-ish city for the middle of Illinois.
I have never been to Peoria.
St. Louis is about 2.5 hours away.
That is all.
Peoria is in the middle of Illinois, halfway between Chicago and St. Louis.
Bradley is in Peoria and the men's b-ball team often makes the NCAA tournament.
Bradley has a history department.
Peoria is a big-ish city for the middle of Illinois.
I have never been to Peoria.
St. Louis is about 2.5 hours away.
That is all.
Monday, February 21, 2011
17 month blabbering
Henry has an extensive vocabulary of single words at this point and I would like to remember some of these first words, so here's a partial list. I am certain I can't come up with all of them.
da (dad)
mama (dad or mom)
duhduh (dog)
dodo (also dog)
milk
book
cup
hi
bye
Elmo (we freaking hate this one)
Arlo
nose
eyes
hat
coat
shoes
socks
gama (grandma)
papa (grandpa)
more
day due (thank you)
up
go
The signs he uses are:
more
milk
thank you
please
eat
He understands remarkably complex sentences even if he can't use them himself. I can say "go to your room, get me your socks and bring them to me" and he'll do it. He is obsessed with books and can pick them out based on our description or the title even if, again, he can't say it.
His current favorite book is about the NYC subway and Henry knows most of the words. We currently have it checked out the library and keep renewing it but we've now reached the renewal limit so we're going to have to order it for our little transportation obsessed buddy. Rob and I both love New York and the subway and don't mind this at all. We're invited to a wedding in Brooklyn this summer and if finances allow, we'd love for Henry to really get a chance to "hop, hop, hop to the subway" in real life.
da (dad)
mama (dad or mom)
duhduh (dog)
dodo (also dog)
milk
book
cup
hi
bye
Elmo (we freaking hate this one)
Arlo
nose
eyes
hat
coat
shoes
socks
gama (grandma)
papa (grandpa)
more
day due (thank you)
up
go
The signs he uses are:
more
milk
thank you
please
eat
He understands remarkably complex sentences even if he can't use them himself. I can say "go to your room, get me your socks and bring them to me" and he'll do it. He is obsessed with books and can pick them out based on our description or the title even if, again, he can't say it.
His current favorite book is about the NYC subway and Henry knows most of the words. We currently have it checked out the library and keep renewing it but we've now reached the renewal limit so we're going to have to order it for our little transportation obsessed buddy. Rob and I both love New York and the subway and don't mind this at all. We're invited to a wedding in Brooklyn this summer and if finances allow, we'd love for Henry to really get a chance to "hop, hop, hop to the subway" in real life.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Eleven Days
The last week and a half have been the most eventful days of our lives since Henry joined us.
None of it was planned as the year began, and a week of it was very unwanted. But it is, as life, an adventure we took on and Henry seems none the worse for wear.
Rob had a much anticipated interview at a conference in Boston on January 7. He planned a short, three day trip to attend the conference, interview, visit briefly with a few friends, and head back home. The interview is for a position much closer to home, but in the academic world the initial interviews happen at national conferences. So Rob booked a flight and hotel across the country in hopes of landing a job that is a mere three hours from home.
I wasn't planning to go with Rob, as funds are tight and flights are not cheap. About a week before Rob's departure date, a very generous friend who lives in Boston asked why Henry and I weren't coming along as we have several friends in the area. Hearing that money was our obstacle, she booked Henry and I a flight!!! We have amazing and generous friends.
This set into motion a whirlwind of planning. I was nervous about flying with a very active, mobile toddler and had to pack in an entirely different way than I used to do when I was a footloose and fancy free traveler packing only for myself. Snacks, diapers, more snacks, books, toys, all strategically placed in a bag that could easily go under out seat while the less necessary items could be stowed in overhead bins. Henry and I flew out at the same time Rob did and stayed a day longer.
We spend one night with the awesome Peris,
one night with Rob in his fancy shmancy hotel in Copley,
and our final night with the friend who made our trip possible and her great family.
We played in Boston Common,
and walked around downtown Boston. In between, we dined well, swam in the pool of said hotel
as snow fell outside our windows,
met my old friend Todd's son,
and generally enjoyed ourselves. Henry was a champion flier, he was content to sleep, snack, read, and make friends on the flights. We were very lucky to have empty flights on the trip to Boston and to catch our connection after a very delayed takeoff on the way home. I credit Henry with that.
Here's an e-mail I sent some good friends about that adventure home from Boston:
and that is how it ended. We were home, my bag arrived in the wee hours of Monday morning as we slept. I intended to get up and go to work Monday morning as usual, back in the swing of the routine. Rob needed to go license his new car and had a full week of writing and preparing a syllabus ahead of him. We got up as usual, Rob headed to shower and I started getting Henry dressed. Rob's phone rang and he didn't answer. He said the call was from Whitney, he was afraid to answer it. Rob's friend Clayton has had cancer for a decade and while he got the great news of a remission in September 2010, his wife Whit had texted with Rob last week saying that Clayton had a bacterial infection. Rob feared that this was Whit calling to tell him that Clay had taken a turn for the worse, and would ask him to please come to their home in Tulsa to see his dear friend in possible critical condition.
Rob checked the voice mail and Whitney's message was simply "Call me back as soon as possible."
Rob held my hand and dialed, Whitney answered and gave him the worst news of all. Clayton was gone. He passed peacefully in his sleep at around 5:30 am on January 10, 2010. Our call came at about 7:30 and pretty much rocked our world. Rob was devastated and I was shocked. This was not news any of us were expecting, despite the years of health challenges that Clay faced.
We took Henry to daycare then immediately made plans to get to Tulsa. We initially decided to go separately so I could work at least half the week, but an impending snowstorm threw that plan out. We had just a few hours to pack up and go if we didn't want to chance getting stuck on a highway somewhere. Rob wanted Henry and I along, and I had vacation saved up so we just threw belongings into the car, gathered Henry from daycare, picked up Rob's and Clayton's good friend Irene and hit the road. Sadly, that day was Irene's birthday and she said Clayton was playing a final sick joke on her as his twisted humor always did prevail.
Fortunately, I had done laundry after getting home from Boston and my bag had arrived a few hours earlier so we were able to pack everything we needed, including Rob's new suit. He'd gotten it for the interview a week earlier and never imagined he'd need it just a few days later.
I learned so much about Clayton on the drive to Tulsa and throughout the week. I had met him four separate times since Rob and I started dating, as he and his wife Whitney lived in Seattle then in Tulsa. Though I'd met him, I never really got to know Clayton well. His voice was lost due to years of battling cancer of the salivary glands and attempting to communicate usually frustrated him so he rarely attempted more than some gestures and noises around me. Rob, Whitney, Irene, and all of Clay's family and friends had to fill in the blanks for those who only knew him recently. I learned about his wicked sense of humor, his natural ability to entertain and to perform, his extensive, massive knowledge of music and pop culture, his intense love for comedy and movies and literature and his complete and total disregard for "norms" in society- be they regarding nudity or relationships. I wish I'd known him earlier.
Whitney and Clayton had a baby girl just 20 days after Henry was born. Eliza was the great love of Clay's life along with Whitney. One doesn't need a voice to communicate with an infant and now a toddler. He was her primary caretaker and the one to calm her at night.
Though Clay was in remission from cancer, he still had to work hard on his health. Always a thin guy, his cancer had robbed him of the ability to eat, swallow, and enjoy food so he had a feeding tube. Even with the tube, nutrition was a constant issue and required a lot of attention and maintenance. Recently, Whitney said, Clayton had relaxed. He felt he could breathe after being told of his remission. He was chasing around a toddler, meeting her needs and feeling part of his long battle was over. He let his guard down and his weight went with it. Most likely, his body just could not keep up with his activity and he went to sleep very early Monday morning after watching TV on the couch for a few hours. His mother in law, with whom he, Eliza, and Whitney lived, joined him to watch TV around 5 am. An hour or so later, the mother in law woke up and went about her day only to realize how quiet Clay was. She checked on him and he had stopped breathing. He died at home, with his family nearby, wearing super hero pajamas that his MIL said he probably got in the childrens' section of a local store due to his thin frame.
The week that followed was filled with family and friends of Clayton. Rob, Whitney, and Clay's mom Karen planned out a memorial service and Rob and Clay's friend Jay were chosen to eulogize their longtime buddy. Henry and I moved about from motel to different family members' houses, H proving how adaptable and personable he is at every stop. Henry met several of Rob's very good friends for the first time and it was a wonderful reunion albeit for a grim reason. Clay's family was so welcoming to us, Henry and Eliza became fast friends, and we all heard stories of a life well lived.
It was a very long week but we'd not have chosen to do things any differently. Rob needed us to be there and I would not have known as much about the brilliant spirit of Clayton without that time in Tulsa. Rob's eulogy was wonderful and we've made some lifelong friends in Clayton's sister, mother, mother-in-law, and friends. We feel honored that our wedding was the last time many of Clay's college friends saw him, and there were many stories of the days around our wedding.
We have only just reached home today, and a pile of laundry and luggage sits in the living room. Tomorrow is a holiday, MLK, Jr. Day of all things and so we can rest and reflect and get ready for our routine to begin again. Henry has proven to be a versatile traveler, capable of sleep on the road and charm beyond description- probably a little like Clayton.
We'll never let him forget the Uncle he only met once!
None of it was planned as the year began, and a week of it was very unwanted. But it is, as life, an adventure we took on and Henry seems none the worse for wear.
Rob had a much anticipated interview at a conference in Boston on January 7. He planned a short, three day trip to attend the conference, interview, visit briefly with a few friends, and head back home. The interview is for a position much closer to home, but in the academic world the initial interviews happen at national conferences. So Rob booked a flight and hotel across the country in hopes of landing a job that is a mere three hours from home.
I wasn't planning to go with Rob, as funds are tight and flights are not cheap. About a week before Rob's departure date, a very generous friend who lives in Boston asked why Henry and I weren't coming along as we have several friends in the area. Hearing that money was our obstacle, she booked Henry and I a flight!!! We have amazing and generous friends.
This set into motion a whirlwind of planning. I was nervous about flying with a very active, mobile toddler and had to pack in an entirely different way than I used to do when I was a footloose and fancy free traveler packing only for myself. Snacks, diapers, more snacks, books, toys, all strategically placed in a bag that could easily go under out seat while the less necessary items could be stowed in overhead bins. Henry and I flew out at the same time Rob did and stayed a day longer.
We spend one night with the awesome Peris,
one night with Rob in his fancy shmancy hotel in Copley,
and our final night with the friend who made our trip possible and her great family.
We played in Boston Common,
and walked around downtown Boston. In between, we dined well, swam in the pool of said hotel
as snow fell outside our windows,
met my old friend Todd's son,
and generally enjoyed ourselves. Henry was a champion flier, he was content to sleep, snack, read, and make friends on the flights. We were very lucky to have empty flights on the trip to Boston and to catch our connection after a very delayed takeoff on the way home. I credit Henry with that.
Here's an e-mail I sent some good friends about that adventure home from Boston:
Travel ended up being mostly uneventful today, but was nearly very bad. We sat in the plane, pulled back from the gate I think for over an hour. They finally de-iced, we took off and everyone was running late for their connections and there was some freaking out (not me, what good would that do?). There was a young girl PULLING HER HAIR OUT and crying to the flight attendants that her flight left at 9:27 and we were set to land at 9:15.
Dude, EVERYONE except for a tiny group that had Memphis as their destination was going to be late. My connection was leaving at 9:35. I figured we'd miss it.
When we landed, the freakout girl leaped from her seat and had to be told to STFBD and then when the seat belt light finally dinged off, she slammed her way into the aisle, hurdling people and I have no idea if she made it or not.
Henry and I booked it to our gate really far away, I was running in the Ergo and held his head against my chest to hopefully avoid shaking his brains. Of course our plane had pulled back already, there were two of us (well 2.5 with Henry) who had missed the connection. We had to wait until 3:30pm, that's SEVEN hours in an airport with Henry. Lovely.
BUT this awesome guy with a radio gets on it and asks the pilot through the glass if we could add people. I see him holding up two fingers through the window and I asked if a cute baby would help grease those wheels?
So I took Henry in Ergo to the window, we waved at the pilot, we got a thumbs up and they took the other woman and I out the door, onto the pavement, walked us over to a glorified ladder and we made our flight!!!!
YAY!
My luggage is in Detroit or something, but I'm home so we have clothes and diapers and I don't realy care.
That's my story and now I need a long nap.
and that is how it ended. We were home, my bag arrived in the wee hours of Monday morning as we slept. I intended to get up and go to work Monday morning as usual, back in the swing of the routine. Rob needed to go license his new car and had a full week of writing and preparing a syllabus ahead of him. We got up as usual, Rob headed to shower and I started getting Henry dressed. Rob's phone rang and he didn't answer. He said the call was from Whitney, he was afraid to answer it. Rob's friend Clayton has had cancer for a decade and while he got the great news of a remission in September 2010, his wife Whit had texted with Rob last week saying that Clayton had a bacterial infection. Rob feared that this was Whit calling to tell him that Clay had taken a turn for the worse, and would ask him to please come to their home in Tulsa to see his dear friend in possible critical condition.
Rob checked the voice mail and Whitney's message was simply "Call me back as soon as possible."
Rob held my hand and dialed, Whitney answered and gave him the worst news of all. Clayton was gone. He passed peacefully in his sleep at around 5:30 am on January 10, 2010. Our call came at about 7:30 and pretty much rocked our world. Rob was devastated and I was shocked. This was not news any of us were expecting, despite the years of health challenges that Clay faced.
We took Henry to daycare then immediately made plans to get to Tulsa. We initially decided to go separately so I could work at least half the week, but an impending snowstorm threw that plan out. We had just a few hours to pack up and go if we didn't want to chance getting stuck on a highway somewhere. Rob wanted Henry and I along, and I had vacation saved up so we just threw belongings into the car, gathered Henry from daycare, picked up Rob's and Clayton's good friend Irene and hit the road. Sadly, that day was Irene's birthday and she said Clayton was playing a final sick joke on her as his twisted humor always did prevail.
Fortunately, I had done laundry after getting home from Boston and my bag had arrived a few hours earlier so we were able to pack everything we needed, including Rob's new suit. He'd gotten it for the interview a week earlier and never imagined he'd need it just a few days later.
I learned so much about Clayton on the drive to Tulsa and throughout the week. I had met him four separate times since Rob and I started dating, as he and his wife Whitney lived in Seattle then in Tulsa. Though I'd met him, I never really got to know Clayton well. His voice was lost due to years of battling cancer of the salivary glands and attempting to communicate usually frustrated him so he rarely attempted more than some gestures and noises around me. Rob, Whitney, Irene, and all of Clay's family and friends had to fill in the blanks for those who only knew him recently. I learned about his wicked sense of humor, his natural ability to entertain and to perform, his extensive, massive knowledge of music and pop culture, his intense love for comedy and movies and literature and his complete and total disregard for "norms" in society- be they regarding nudity or relationships. I wish I'd known him earlier.
Whitney and Clayton had a baby girl just 20 days after Henry was born. Eliza was the great love of Clay's life along with Whitney. One doesn't need a voice to communicate with an infant and now a toddler. He was her primary caretaker and the one to calm her at night.
Though Clay was in remission from cancer, he still had to work hard on his health. Always a thin guy, his cancer had robbed him of the ability to eat, swallow, and enjoy food so he had a feeding tube. Even with the tube, nutrition was a constant issue and required a lot of attention and maintenance. Recently, Whitney said, Clayton had relaxed. He felt he could breathe after being told of his remission. He was chasing around a toddler, meeting her needs and feeling part of his long battle was over. He let his guard down and his weight went with it. Most likely, his body just could not keep up with his activity and he went to sleep very early Monday morning after watching TV on the couch for a few hours. His mother in law, with whom he, Eliza, and Whitney lived, joined him to watch TV around 5 am. An hour or so later, the mother in law woke up and went about her day only to realize how quiet Clay was. She checked on him and he had stopped breathing. He died at home, with his family nearby, wearing super hero pajamas that his MIL said he probably got in the childrens' section of a local store due to his thin frame.
The week that followed was filled with family and friends of Clayton. Rob, Whitney, and Clay's mom Karen planned out a memorial service and Rob and Clay's friend Jay were chosen to eulogize their longtime buddy. Henry and I moved about from motel to different family members' houses, H proving how adaptable and personable he is at every stop. Henry met several of Rob's very good friends for the first time and it was a wonderful reunion albeit for a grim reason. Clay's family was so welcoming to us, Henry and Eliza became fast friends, and we all heard stories of a life well lived.
It was a very long week but we'd not have chosen to do things any differently. Rob needed us to be there and I would not have known as much about the brilliant spirit of Clayton without that time in Tulsa. Rob's eulogy was wonderful and we've made some lifelong friends in Clayton's sister, mother, mother-in-law, and friends. We feel honored that our wedding was the last time many of Clay's college friends saw him, and there were many stories of the days around our wedding.
We have only just reached home today, and a pile of laundry and luggage sits in the living room. Tomorrow is a holiday, MLK, Jr. Day of all things and so we can rest and reflect and get ready for our routine to begin again. Henry has proven to be a versatile traveler, capable of sleep on the road and charm beyond description- probably a little like Clayton.
We'll never let him forget the Uncle he only met once!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sixteen Months with Henry!
As this boy gets more active, I have less time to write about him. Life with a very mobile toddler is nothing short of exhausting! All day long, when I'm off that is, I follow him around from room to room, reading book after book, asking Henry to name items, taking away things that he might eat or break or otherwise damage, hugging, redirecting, soothing, nursing, tickling, laughing and learning patience. Henry is absolutely hilarious. Words are pouring out of his mouth lately and I am not even sure I could count how many there are. He both signs and says "more" and "all done" and uses "more" for about 10 different things- do it again, more food, another book, don't stop, push that swing one more time, and at times when I have no idea what he means.
His hair is long and curly and growing longer all the time, people comment on it constantly. He is confused for a girl about half the time, most recently today by my 93 year old grandfather who probably just lost track of which of his 13 great grandchildren were hugging him.
Henry is obsessed with books, wants them read over and over and over, and he identifies words and pictures in his favorites. One of his clearest words is "Arlo" who is our tabby cat, but all cats in every book become "Arlo" in Henry's world.
Some other things he loves to say are:
Thank You
Grandma
Grandpa
Baby (baybu)
Dad (dadu)
Mom
Milk
Teeth
Nose
Shoes
Socks
Book
Doggy (dada, not to be confused with daddy)
More
Head
Eyes
Cow
Moooo
and a few more I'm sure.
Sometimes Henry is prone to a very dramatic outburst of emotion, usually some very passionate tears over something highly tragic like us removing something inedible from his mouth or trying (horrors!) to change his diaper. I started saying "ACTING!" a la Jon Lovitz in the early '90s SNL with John Lithgow and now Henry proudly says "Acting" pretty often. It cracks Rob and I up.
He is fascinating right now, the volume of learning going on is staggering. He is also just adorable as he has learned to hug, kiss, and say "I love you" in his own little words (wubwu). He's sweet and melts you when he walks over and reaches up for a hug going "Awwhhhhhh".
He is a full time job, no joke. He's a job I like a lot. I have been also not writing here much because so many other things around us are so unhappy and it is hard to not complain about that junk and also I suspect the stress just makes me feel depressed and not like writing. Henry makes this all better. Sometimes he is the only good thing going for Rob and I. It isn't fair to complain about things like money and work and money when others have big problems, really we're quite lucky. But when you are in the throes of many bad things, it is hard to see outside yourself.
Henry helps that quite a bit. His world is simple and he doesn't know stress. I hope none of ours stays with him. He was a very serious little baby but seems a more carefree toddler. I hope so. No small person should shoulder their parents' issues.
I hope things get better in 2011, though it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
But Hank is lovely. A wonderful, sweet spirit and really he is just love. I worry about him all the time, worry that he won't be happy or that he'll get sick or hurt himself but I suppose that is normal parenthood. I would love to say that I'll start writing again, talking about my family or things we do and learn but it is so hard right now. Henry is good. Rob and I are good. Our families are good. That should be enough!
I'll try to get better.
And a post would not be a post without some Henry shots, right? Henry's new cousin Seamus was born on November 24, which is also Rob's birthday. We managed to get a photo shoot together with Hiroki, Henry and Seamus just before Christmas and it was an adventure. Many takes later, we got one photo that was suitable for gifting to the proud grandparents, but along the way there were some very cute moments. A few of them are documented here. Hiro is 2.5, Henry was 15 months and Seamus was almost one month old.
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