Extended Breastfeeding

There are so many things I didn't know before I had a baby in my life. There are plenty of things I STILL don't know but it is interesting how quickly you become expert in certain things that become very important to you and then later you can't believe you never knew it.
I knew almost nothing about breastfeeding until a couple of years ago. Nothing at all. I didn't know that you could feed a baby JUST breastmilk and they'd thrive. I never put much thought into it but I guess I just assumed all babies needed either formula, cereal or some other type of food for growth and development.

I also had very little experience with anyone breastfeeding around me- not exclusively, just breastfeeding at all. My main motivation with my breastfeeding plan was to save money initially. I thought about paying for a year's worth of formula and it made my head spin. So my plan became to breastfeed as much as possible.

Then I began to read about exclusive breastfeeding and delaying solids and even about extended breastfeeding. I knew this would be challenging with working full time, and I have no longterm goals but so far my boy has avoided both formula and cow's milk. He eats solids but his diet is still more than half breastmilk. I ran across these tips for breastfeeding until age 2, as the WHO recommends. We're already on our way to that point, so why not make age 2 a new goal? Not everyone can get this far, we've been really lucky and I have only ever looked a month ahead at a time.
Maybe these tips will help push us through the next 10 months:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/09/natural-weaning.html

Weaning causes:
*biggest one: Cow's milk - they substitute cow's milk for ...breastmilk. If you are breastfeeding, there is NO need for cow's milk, ever. They don't need it for nutrition, and it is a fast path to weaning for *many* babies.

Another caveat with cow's milk - if your baby/toddler is allergic to cow's milk, she will crave it - she will drink several cups/bottles a day. This of course will quickly take the place of breastmilk. Check for food/dairy allergies with your doctor if your baby is preferring cow's milk to momma's milk.
*Pregnancy - the taste of milk changes. Many children though can still be taught to relatch after the birth. Research this, or find a lactation specialist that specializes in this.
*Too many solids - especially between the 9-14 month mark - at this age, they only should have one "solid" meal a day, the rest of their nutrition should be coming from breastmilk. There are some scientists who believe babies don't biologically need solids until about 14 months of age. Even at 2 years of age, the ratio of breastmilk to solids should be somewhere between 75/25 to 50/50.
*Not offering the breast first.
* Only nursing once at night and once in the morning. They still should be nursing 5-7 times minimum daily during the toddler years.
* Night weaning - which is usually mother-led, and leads to faster weaning overall.
* Nursing Strikes - this is a common misconception that happens to babies before one year old. Moms think their babies are self-weaning, but they are actually are just on a nursing strike. Nursing strikes tend to be overcome quickly, especially when solids are decreased and dairy is eliminated.
*Other external causes

Leaving

I have never spent a night away from my boy. I spend all day most days away from him, and that is enough. Rob has had a few conferences and a few trips with his friends since Henry was born and has been away about 5 times. I have not.
This weekend will be the first night. I know Henry will be well cared for with his awesome Grandma Susan and Great Grandma Dixie, but I'll miss him. I am worried that he'll be scared at night and wonder where we are. The reality is that he'll probably sleep right through the night which he never does in our house in his own bed- or in ours.
Rob and I met 5 years ago tomorrow and we're going to celebrate at the first place we ever traveled to together, a bed and breakfast in Ste. Genevieve, MO. This part is straight out of a harlequin romance novel: the room we stayed in then and that we'll occupy this weekend is the "Rendezvous Room". What I remember most about our "redezvous" was that we used the jacuzzi tub AND turned on the gas fireplace and minutes later were so overheated that we literally stumbled out of our room onto the outdoor deck to cool off, it was November and we didn't even have jackets on. I was dizzy and dehydrated, our room had baked my brain. Sorry, Rob, but that's what I remember. The blissful 30 degree evening brought me back to life.

So we'll go rendezvous-ing again, but this time I think we'll leave the fireplace off. And I imagine we'll sleep through the night. I could count on one hand, maybe two, the number of times that has happened since 9/2/9. I will also miss my boy like crazy. That little bugger has gotten under my skin.

A Birthday with a Boy

Today was my 36th birthday. I did nothing exceptional. I did take the day off which was nice. There is no way I'd pass any of my personal time in that place, and that is all I have to say about work.

So my boy and I spent the day together. I made him some eggs and French toast and we ate together, then I made a list and we went to the bank and then Target. On the way, he fell asleep so I spent 20 minute in the Target parking lot on the phone letting him catch a catnap. He was in the Ergo in Target as I shopped, I handed him a toy and he chewed on it until it dropped from the carrier onto the floor and he said "uh-oh" about 10 times before I realized he'd dropped his little light up pumpkin toy.

After wandering around in the Ergo, I figured he needed some toddling time so we walked across a few parking lots to the library. Henry and I read some books in the kid's section, he socialized with a couple of kids while some very loud mom read a book to her brood and her daycare kids and I was simultaneously jealous that she sees her kid more than an hour a day and annoyed that she couldn't lower her voice in the library while reading or narrating her life story to toddlers.

On to Aldi's where again the boy was in the Ergo, and I handed his curious hands a plum after wiping it off on my shirt then with a wipe. He ate the entire thing, all with just one tooth. Skin and all, I managed to get the pit and toss that out.

From there, we went home to lunch which was hummus and pita, grapes, and Greek yogurt.

I attempted to nap with him, but he resisted my efforts.

Rob came home, we got out of bed, went outside for a bit then went to yet another box store to find the vacuum bags that Target no longer carries and the boy fell asleep. They stayed in the parking lot and I got my bags, then we all moved to the Royale for dinner.

Henry wandered around making friends, and met Chloe who is the owner's niece. Rob and I shared beer and grilled cheese with apples as Henry had samples of our food plus more hummus, water, and O s (Cheerios, though I prefer to leave them unbranded in his little head) and grew more and more tired.

We came home, put our little person to bed, and watched The Visitor which made me sad.

Then I read birthday messages on Facebook happily, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

This is my life now, simple and small. I wish it could be like this every day.

Henry is One!

And Mama is a bad, bad blogger. I have not written in so long that my boy has begun to walk, to sign, to jabber at us and has had a birthday!! I vow to update in the next week on the milestones. We are now officiallly extended breastfeeding, extended rearfacing and just really happy to have raised this little person for the last year!
Woo-hoo!! Happy Birthday, my boy.

Baby Item Endorsement Part II

Before I go on my long-winded tear, I have to say that Henry is sooo close to taking his first steps. He's standing unassisted now and will step- holding on- between objects and let go briefly. He is pondering the first step, he'll stand there looking at where he wants to go, then drop down to his behind and crawl to his destination. I suppose walking is imminent, though I know he could do this balancing thing for months.

He still has no teeth! He is eating everything we eat anyway. Bean burritos are a new favorite. He's saying mama, dada, tchat which is cat I think, book, and bye. Sometimes he uses the words, sometimes inappropriately but he has those words. His hair is curlier than ever and he's now been to four states- Kansas was his most recent aquisition as we visited Rob's Aunt Barb and Uncle Chester in Lawrence two weeks ago. Over the next month, Henry is headed to Hannibal, MO and Kansas City to meet the Peris, Schieber Bukatys, and Ruppars. Mama is very happy to be getting out of town!!!

Now back to the baby item endorsements:

3. Cloth diapers. I’ve dedicated at least two long posts to cloth diapers here before, but they are an integral part of our daily lives now. I believe they would be item number 1 in importance if we didn’t live in such a driving city and require a carseat on a daily basis.

We use almost all Bum Genius products. At this point, we have about 50 diapers in our rotation. This is a bit excessive, no one really “needs” 50 diapers if you are diapering just one baby, but Cotton Babies has had THREE sales since Henry was born that featured $1 diapers. I’ve been to each sale and stocked up. I’ve also rotated out the diapers that were in the worst condition ($1 of course indicates “well loved” diapers) and passed those along to my sister and cousin who also plan to cloth diaper. Our diaper stash is now Bum Genius 3.0s, organic all in ones, sized all in ones, bamboo fitteds and Flips. The Flips are a new acquisition and the bamboo fitteds have been just about completely retired because the Flip organic insert is a great overnight diaper.

I also have one Fuzzi Bunz one size diaper and one Pooligan that had a holiday design that I could not resist. Many go for the more decorative diapers and I am a little jealous of the really nice colors and patterns that some diaper makers sell but we’re going for convenience and frugality here, so $30 diapers aren’t really at the top of the “need” list. But it doesn’t stop me from wishing for a red diaper, or maybe a purple or a brown- or some interesting patterns.

My diaper washing routine is pretty down pat by now. We have a diaper pail with liner on each floor of the house. We sent a wet bag to daycare every day along with 8 diapers. At the end of the day, I pull the dirties out of his daycare bag and dump them into a diaper pail, wet bag and all. Every 2-3 days, I pull both pail liners out and take them down to the basement. I put the diapers into the washer one by one, removing the inserts from the 3.0s and making sure the wipes make it into the washer drum. We had an unfortunate (read $175) mistake once when a wipe fell between the drum and motor of our washing machine. That mistake cannot be repeated. The pail liners and wet bags go into the wash with the diapers and wipes.

I run the washer on a cold wash, no soap. I leave the top open as I sort diapers and put the solid waste diapers into one wet bag. I take those upstairs to the bathroom where I hose off the waste with our brand new diaper sprayer (which rocks!!) and then take them back to the basement, throw them into the cold wash, shut the lid and run the wash.

When the cold wash ends, I return and put the washer on a hot wash with an extra rinse. I pour in ¼ of the recommended amount of detergent from an approved list of laundry detergents. I’ve used All Small and Mighty, Charlie’s Soap, and Rockin’ Green so far. I have no favorite at this time.

When the wash ends, I pull the 3.0 shells out and hang them up, along with the Flip covers and any nylon covers I’ve used and line dry them. The rest goes into the dryer along with a dry, clean towel to assist in the drying process. Our Bum Genius all in ones (organic and sized) often are still damp after a full dry cycle, so I hang them on our clothesline or drape them over our dining room chairs for the night.

Once in a while, the diapers start to stink even when they are clean and I will run a wash with just some Dawn dish detergent. This strips the diapers of excessive detergent and ammonia and has helped immensely with the stinkies that sometimes plague cloth.

I estimate we’d have spent close to $1000 on disposables by now, not to mention the environmental cost of the diapers in a landfill for 500 years, so I’d say cloth diapering has been the single most important act we’ve made to decrease our family’s carbon footprint in the last year.

I’ve learned a ton about cloth diapers and have a lot of opinions now on brands, detergents, cleaning, and am really excited to answer any questions anyone has. I’ve become a go-to person for those considering cloth diapering among some friends and family and I want to say about 100 times, GO FOR IT. It is not that hard, it is not as much of a pain as you may thing, it DOES work if you have to have your baby in daycare, you will save money and prevent so many chemicals from hitting your baby’s bottom and our groundwater via landfills.

Baby Item Endorsements!

My sister is going to have a baby! When this family starts reproducing, it really doesn't stop. My parents will now have a grandchild in 2008, 2009, and 2010. So far, that is, 2011 is still a possibility. Not for us, um, no freaking way. On my side of the family, we are pretty close to our cousins. One of them had twins in June, making Henry the third youngest at the ripe old age of 9 months. Now my sister and another cousin are pregnant so by January, little 16 month old Henry will be the FIFTH youngest in the family and my grandma will have 11 great grandchildren. This is a seriously fertile family.And the baby talk reminded me that I need to send my sister a list of a few things we really feel like we needed/loved in our 10 months with Henry. Less is more when it comes to baby stuff, this I have learned. That and Craigslist is your friend. You use the big, expensive stuff for such a brief time that it doesn't make a lot of sense to invest in anything big and new- except for the car seat and the crib mattress, if you use a crib at all (we didn't until recently).
So I have decided to make a post of what we had, used, and what I'd recommend if asked what you really need for a baby.
1. Car Seat.
This is actually a 2 item category. We have used the infant seat and the convertible carseat. I really don't think you need to go high end, but some research into safety is important.
We opted for the Graco Snug Ride 32. We also got the travel system that includes the carseat, one carseat base, and the stroller that matches and attaches to the carseat.
In hindsight, I'd still have gotten the Snug Ride and one base for each of our cars, but I'd have skipped the travel system. That is a waste of money. We've used it about 10 times, and I think our money (actually not ours at it was a gift!!) would have been better spent getting the car seat, bases, and a stroller frame which is just a little cart that the car seat can snap into.
Then later, when your little person outgrows that infant seat, if a stroller is still needed, I would recommend either a jogging stroller of your choice (we don't have one, so I'm not sure about the best brands!) or an inexpensive and very portable umbrella stroller.

All these carriers on wheels pale in comparison to what I have discovered is the best way to carry around a baby of any size and is the reason I don't endorse spending a pile of cash on something that keeps your kid at a distance from you, takes up storage space, and is heavy and cumbersome to transport: to wear your baby!
This brings me to the next must have:
2. Baby Carriers

I say plural carriers, though my favorite one can probably be used from birth until toddlerhood. I didn't have it, though, until Henry was 6 months old and my favorite newborn carrier was the Moby Wrap. I used the newborn wrap, the Moby comes with instructions but I felt like I learned more from youtube, watching actual parents wrap actual newborns in this wrap. The Moby is essentially a long strip of fabric and you learn quickly how to fold it around yourself to keep your baby close. It is ideal for the newborn days when the floppy little warm bundle needs lots of support to be close to your body. I never learned to nurse inside the wrap, though it is advertized that this is possible. The upside to this is legion, you have your hands free and your baby close and I wore Henry in some really, really cold weather and he would sleep soundly and not even notice the winter around him. Despite what Moby advertizes, you should NEVER, EVER wear a baby in a Moby Wrap on your back. This is not safe.
When he got to about 15 lbs, the Moby got really stretchy and I felt like my bigger baby was hanging lower and lower when I wore him for an hour or so and I needed something new. By then, Henry could hold his head up and it was time for something big, something that would last a while and all my research led me to my favorite baby accessory yet,The ERGO!!! This pricey carrier is an investment I do not regret. When I decided this was the carrier for me, I searched high and low for a used model. They simply to not exist. Not at baby resale shops, not at yard sales, not on Craigslist. A new Ergo will run you about $100 but with the dearth of used Ergos, I imagine you could recoup almost every penny if you tried it out and decided it was not for you.
I have no photos of me wearing Henry but Rob finds the Ergo to be a pretty good fit for him and here he is hiking on a family trip to Carbondale when the little man was 6 months old. The Ergo can go on the front or the back, and there is a built in pocket for a diaper or your keys. There is also a little hood that can protect your baby from the sun or hold his head steady if he falls asleep as you are walking, as you can see from the photo.
To be continued, because there are more items that we rely on every day!

10 Months With Henry!

Henry is 10 months old, getting bigger all the time. Looking back now on his monthly photos, I think the biggest difference is between 7 and 8 months. He grew so much hair and just looks so much older. This month marked the first time he just outright refused to lay down next to the bear. So he's standing next to him, almost ready to stand on his own.

Grandpa Roy

Henry lost his great grandpa today. Before the wee hours of July 2, 2010, Henry had SIX great grandparents. Two on my side, a complete set of four on Rob's. Grandpa Roy had been in relatively good health and then just about 2 weeks ago he declined. We're not sure what exactly happened, but something affected his brain and the probably cause of his death is cancer. He turned 86 years old last Saturday and celebrated his 63rd wedding anniversary to Dixie the day before Henry joined us.
We'll miss him a lot. I'm so glad that he got to meet Henry and that we lived in the same city so he got to know our boy for almost 10 months.

Moving Out

We have so many things going on right now that it seems impossible to get them all into writing.
Henry is closing in on 10 months and his ninth month has been the most eventful so far. Since he turned 9 months, he has learned to crawl very well, no more stomach scooting at all. He was already pulling up on everything, but he now holds onto objects with one hand only and sometimes lets go entirely. He has started to say mama, dada, and bye bye. He claps, which is probably his favorite development. He is trying all sorts of new foods, pretty much tasting everything we eat. He has had no meat and very limited dairy, those we’ll continue to avoid for now (meat for a long time if I have any say!). His current favorite seems to be watermelon .
Perhaps the milestone that affects our daily lives most is that Henry is now sleeping through the night- alone! We have discussed for months the co-sleeping and how it would work if I had to be away from Henry overnight, or if both of us were to be away from him overnight. He is used to being between us in bed and nursing back to sleep if he wakes up. This is a fine temporary arrangement, but I sometimes have overnight doula shifts and would also like to take on some private doula clients. This means I am not in bed at times and Rob is not comfortable sleeping alone with Henry as he is afraid he may roll over on him- unlikely given our boy’s nearly 20 lb wiggly body. Really, the issue isn’t as much the rolling over as it is that Rob just does not sleep well when I’m not there and Henry is. If I’m gone overnight, one parent at least should be rested!
We discussed putting H in his crib for at least part of the night, and 2 weeks ago while Rob was out of town for a conference I gave it a shot. I got Henry into his pajamas and overnight diaper, nursed him into a sleepy state and laid him in his crib. He cried for a few minutes. I was prepared to let him fuss for just about 15 minutes, that sounds like a long time but I knew that if he really cried hard that I’d probably cave. After about 10 minutes of some half-assed fussing, he fell asleep. And he stayed asleep. After a bit, I had to go check on his breathing. And I did that the next hour and the next and finally when I went to bed I took him with me, sleeping the entire time.
The next night I laid him in the crib and the fussing stopped as soon as I shut the door. Silence. This time I restrained myself and only checked on him twice, and still took him to bed with me a few hours later.
I was so amazed by this development that when Rob came home, I could not wait to show him. That night, we decided to see how long Henry would sleep alone in the crib. He lasted from about 8 pm until 4 am and awakened so I got him and brought him back to us.
Since that night, he has lengthened his sleep until 5 or 6 am. I am amazed. He sleeps so well in his crib! We are sleeping more soundly also, though I miss that little guy next to me. I am not sure what changed, but I think he was just ready for more space and independence. This milestone came just in time for a very hectic weekend that I’ll talk about in my next post.

9 Months With Henry!

He's not too interested in laying still these days. There is so much to SEE!!!!

8 Months with Henry!

Mastering Skills

This is going to be a quick post as I've got several other posts in "draft" status but I am slipping up on documenting Henry milestones.
The last two weeks have been heavily laden with new feats. One week ago, on April 13, Henry pulled himself up for the first time to standing. He hasn't yet mastered the sitting so when he topples over, he goes down hard. It doesn't phase him at all.





Last night, during a bath after a particularly messy eating session, Henry discovered splashing was the cool thing to do in the bathtub.



This kid is learning new things daily and we're having such a good time with him!!!

7 Months with Henry

This kid is growing like a weed!!

Six Months with Henry!

Half a year has passed since Henry joined us, and he's getting more animated every day. His newest skill is moving all over the floor inchworm style. He's pretty efficient but we can still keep up and for that we are grateful. Babyproofing has begun in our house but is far from finished. Henry is more amused than ever by the pets. He's very strong and likes to "stand" on you, he'd much rather do this than lay down or cuddle. He isn't sitting unassisted yet. His communication these days is often grunting, it cracks us up. He's still smiliest in the mornings. Most of the time he remains a Serious Man, though, but is about the most content baby I've ever met. Sometime in the next few weeks, Henry will probably be eating his first foods that are not milk. He's not really shown any interest in food so far and is perfectly satisfied with his breastmilk so the introduction will be slow. We're looking forward to showing off some messy food photos and Foster is so ready to gobble up whatever falls to the floor. This dog has been waiting 6 months for this, and we've told him that all the neglect he must feel since he was upstaged by a small human will be worth it when the food begins to fall from the high chair.
Please enjoy Henry at six months old!

Henry is Scooting!

I am waaay behind on posting. My time to add to this blog is in the evening and evenings lately are filled with playing with our boy and getting ready for the next day. He is growing bigger and is moving around completely on his own. His daycare provider thinks he'll be crawling soon, I am really not sure of that but he is quite adept at turning around in circles on his belly and getting to toys that entertain him. His favorite things right now are books and here is a quick look at how excited that Henry is about his black and white book, a gift from our good friends. We'd love to say Henry has an early love of learning but actually he's just interested in chewing the pages.

5 Months with Henry!

Henry is five months old! He is starting to scoot around a little, and is happiest being on his playmat where he can grab his own toys and books. He thinks the dog is about the neatest thing he's ever seen and clearly loves Foster more than his own mom and dad.

Our Dirty Little Secret

We are co-sleepers. All three of us- Henry, Rob, and I- share our bed at night. We never planned to do this. Rob was adamantly anti co-sleeping. I was indifferent, figuring we'd get some pattern down eventually when our baby came along.
I was breastfeeding our newborn every hour to 2 hours that first week and trying to prop us both up on a boppy while also attempting valiantly to stay awake to protect us both from the dreaded rolling over which might well end our tiny little Henry.
We were in bad shape after 2-3 weeks of this hourly waking. Two consecutive hours of sleep was something to be celebrated, but Rob and I were too exhausted to find any way to cheer that kind of luck. At one point, Rob decided that if Henry fell asleep lying on one of us, the other adult should stay awake and watch the sleeping pair so at least one person got decent sleep and Henry was not harmed. I was crying nightly purely from sleep exhaustion. Three AM is the hour that thoughts like "What have I done to myself and my life?!" cross your mind. It was miserable.
Days were tolerable, but nights were pure hell.
We would attempt to lay a sleeping baby with his belly full down in the co-sleeper and hope and pray (neither of us were religious before these torturous nights!!) that the H-man would stay asleep and give us just 2 hours of uninterrupted slumber. It would work for an hour or so.
One night, out of desperation and pure exhaustion, I just laid my boy on the side of me towards the outside of the bed, away from Rob. There he slept for THREE HOURS. The miracle was, so did I. He woke up fussing, I helped him reach his milk source and we both dozed back off. Then he slept for ANOTHER THREE HOURS. I was in heaven. Rob decided that morning that desparation had led us to a solution that appeared to work and I was so happy that we were in agreement. We were on the same page, and the arrangement meant we both felt rested in the morning. It was certainly less sleep than we were used to prior to Henry's joining us but far more than we'd had in his first month of life.
Every night since then, Henry has slept next to me. I have grown to love it. He is not a restless or noisy sleeper as I hear and read that some newborns are. He is peaceful and sleeps about three hours at a time. Some nights he sleeps four and a few times, we've gotten 5 to 5.5 hours of consecutive sleep!
Henry cuddles up to me in his sleep on his side with his head thrown back and his little butt sticking out. He sometimes reaches a hand out and rests it on my chest or my face. Rob often leans over me to check to make sure that his little buddy is OK. In the morning, I get up first and put Henry next to Rob while I get ready. Often Henry stays asleep and curls up next to his dad. This is Rob's favorite part of morning, perhaps of the whole day. He doesn't feel safe having Henry next to him during the heavy sleeping hours, but loves the morning visits. If awake, Henry is at his smiliest in the early hours. He is a morning person, quite the opposite of his mother.
Neither of us are in a hurry to transition Henry to his own crib or bedroom. Since we all sleep so soundly, it seems logical to continue what works. What I have learned is that co-sleeping is a way of life for some families. There are family beds, extended co-sleeping that includes multiple children and is part of attachment parenting.
We never meant to join a "movement". We never researched attachment parenting or intended to adopt the principals of some parenting trend. We just needed sleep.

Four Months with Henry!

Time flies! This cannot be the same baby, can it?!

Henry is four months old today. Just in time for the "birthday", he has learned to roll from back to tummy. He has been trying valiantly to do this for about a month but one arm always seems to get stuck and he gets soooo close, then ends up rocking back onto his back again. But one day this past week at daycare, he apparently figured it out and showed it off to his parents on New Years Day- twice. Mad skills, this kid!
His other new skills include reaching out for objects in front of him and recognizing two demensional objects, (i.e. people in books; he smiles at a Santa Claus image every time we read Twas the Night Before Christmas) and thinking that his dad is about the coolest person ever. Eating and playing WILL be interrupted if Rob is nearby. It is so much fun to see this personality emerging. Henry smiles more at Rob that at just about anything else. He's been a real trooper during the many holiday celebrations that we've visited and I still miss him so much every day that I spend away from him.